Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Where Do We Go From Here???

I am sitting in a restaurant in DC where we are having a panel discussion on the recent massacre at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church (AME) in Charleston, SC, and I am thinking, listening, and writing!

Race, racism, and our country has been on my mind a lot....

From seeing a man running from a cop and being shot in the back, seeing a cop throw a young girl to the ground and putting both of his knees in her back, reading about riots in both Missouri and Baltimore, and finally hearing the details of a man going into a church, sitting for an hour, and then killing nine of the African Americans in the church out of hate; I am asking myself Where Do We Go From Here!

My people, I have analyzed, criticized, read, cried, and have been afraid.

Yes, a free African American in American has been afraid...

I live in a very diverse neighborhood, and I normally never feel afraid, as a matter of fact, I actually feel quite safe. However, last Friday, I got dressed to go for a bike ride, and for a minute I felt fear. Yep, FEAR. I began to wonder if someone would run me over, because I am Black. Yea, I thought this and so much more. BUT, I put on my Black Girls Bike DC jersey, and boldly went out my front door to do what I love. I decided that if someone was going to kill me because of my color, I was not going to hide but mark myself as Black; I will not hide my race to be safe ever

I am wondering Where Do We, Black people and this country, Go From Here?

I still believe in love, and when I see angry post on FB by Black people and White People, it scares me, because it seems to directed towards entire groups of people, and that same angry may be causing cops to mistreat Black people and may have caused a young man to go into that church and brutally kill nine people who were praying to God.

Yes, I have gone from sad to angry to confused and back to sad, and God keeps reminding me that all White people are not bad!

After all of the hate, anger, and hurt that is going on in this country today, I have been deliberately trying to not allow myself to put everybody in the same box: Black People or White People!

People are people and the history of this country is not all good, and I want to believe that all of the things that are happening in this country are happening to expose the racism that has been simmering in our country since we were forced here many years ago. With exposure, hopefully, we can deal with this racism that permeates America. 

I know for sure that Knowledge is Power, and we must read, study, be critical thinkers who are not led by the media, get to know each other, and hopefully heal this land, but I am not sure if this land can be healed. 

Everyday I am pondering Where Do I Go From Here?

So, I will continue to inspire children and teach them, through words, to search their own hearts, be true to themselves, learn about other people and cultures, learn to listen to people whom they disagree with, and to go out and be the change that we need to see in the world....

I am going to live my truth and carefully speak my truth and not worry about the people whom I offend when I speak my truth. I will continue to educate myself, so that when I speak, I will speak from a place of knowledge and not emotions, emotions do have their place, and I will continue to attend and participate in public forums to be in communion with people who are continuously doing the work that matters.

Well, the panel discussion is over, and it was very interactive. The audience got a lot of time to express their ideas and ask questions. So, you remember me stating earlier that I do not want to put people in a box? Well, after this discussion, I realize that people can not be put into a box. The people in that room and their ideas and experiences with race and racism and their ideas about how to deal with these issues were as varied as crayons in a huge box.

The atmosphere felt a little hostile at times, and to be honest, my spirit felt quite heavy after that discussion. I felt like people were being attacked and judged, and this was definitely not a meeting to make people feel good at all. However, I am sort of feeling like maybe this is not the time for us to feel good. However, one of the panelist suggested that we meet her at Malcolm X Park, a Black space, on Sunday, to celebrate and have a love festival; however, this definitely contradicted the feelings that she was emitting into the building.

My people, after this forum, I am feeling sad, confused, angry, lost, judged, like I just don’t understand all of this stuff at all, and I am wondering....Where Do We Go From Here?

However, two guys who were at the forum have sat down next to me, and I am feeling this conversation on race that we are having sooooo, I got to go.....

Hopefully, we can figure out Where do We Go From Here!

Until the Next Time......

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