Racism, America, and A Black Woman Traveling Alone

Williamsburg, Virginia

On one of my FB post, a white friend stated that she is “afraid” of Black men whom she do not know, and I’ve thought about that comment a lot. I kinda understand her fear, but I think it is unfounded. Most Black men know what will happen if they are even accused of doing anything to a white lady, and therefore, I think that most white women have nothing to worry about. We all saw what happened to the Black birdwatcher in Central Park, and we all know how wrong that whole scenario could have gone. Thankfully, there are phones that record. And, I have not researched it or anything, but I have not heard of a case where a Black man has done anything harmful to a white woman. I think that would probably be breaking news. So, white ladies, I think y'all can relax some.

However, let me tell you about My fear that is not unfounded based on the history of this country. Historically, white folks have been able to do some awful things to Black folks and walk away. And, when I travel alone to places where there may not be other Black people or just a few other Black people, I am always mindful that I could possibly be entering into an environment that is unsafe.

Recently, I went on a small getaway about two hours away from my home to historical Williamsburg, Virginia. I needed to getaway, and I wanted to do it alone.

Let’s talk about alone. I absolutely love being around people, but I recharge by being alone. And, based on me needing to be alone to recharge, that would mean that I am an introvert. But, because I do not do labels and all that comes with them, I generally ignore them. I am who I am, PERIOD, and I NEED time alone!

I have been to Williamsburg before, and I do not remember seeing many Black people there. So, I went to Williamsburg happily but reluctantly. Williamsburg and the surrounding areas are so beautiful, but I was thinking about racism, and I did not want to end up dead or missing. It is hard to determine by looking at white folks if they are blatantly racist or not, so I have to go by how they treat me and my keen racism radar.

When I arrived at the hotel, the manager who checked me in was Black, and I breathed a sigh of relief; I thought that I may be more safe with a Black person working the front desk. I told him of my concerns of being a Black woman traveling alone, and he assured me that I would be safe. 

I also asked the manager about cycling in Williamsburg, and he assured me that I had nothing to worry about. I had never cycled in Williamsburg before and definitely never alone. Throughout breakfast I was thinking about cycling while Black, alone, in the backwoods of Virginia. I thought about what my sister, Tracy, states often: "Brave women do it afraid.” So, I got on my bike and headed towards Jamestown. I was literally by myself on those roads, and when a car would pass, my heart would flutter, and I would think “I hope that the folks in the car are not racist whites who will run me over, call me names, or do something else dreadful to me.” I even passed a few cyclist who were all white, and they all gave me friendly waves and that helped to ease my anxiety as well. My puffy hair was sticking out from my helmet, and my skin is definitely dark enough where folks can tell I am Black, Sooooooo.... Lucky for me, I didn't get those racist vibes that I sometimes get, and I was able to relax some. 

Eventually, I ended up at Jamestown Island and decided to ride it. However, some parts of the island are secluded, but I thought “Brave women do it afraid.” I saw a few other cyclists, walkers, and folks in cars, and they all gave me friendly looks and waves, and that helped to ease my anxiety. 

Near the end of my ride, I saw a sign for a sunset cruise. I desired to take the cruise, but I am a Black woman traveling alone around mostly white people. I cycled by the port, and lo and behold, there was a Black man on the boat. I told him about my reluctancy to take the boat ride being that I might be the only Black person on the boat, and I did not want to end up at the bottom of the James River. He assured me that he would be the captain and that I would be alright. I bought the ticket and took the sunset boat ride. The Black captain was on the boat as well as the Black man who provided the entertainment, and I was able to relax and enjoy the ride. 

So, I had a good first day and was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the trip.

Is this how I feel often? YES......

When driving at night, I think, "If a cop stops me, am I going to pull over, or drive to the closest store then stop, or put on my hazards and drive to the closest store and then stop, or.... just not drive at night?

Fight or Flight... is pretty much where I dwell until I determine, through observations, conversations, and my racism radar if I can relax. 

So, when I hear a white woman state that she is afraid of Black men whom she do not know.... I always think if only she could be a Black woman trying to thrive in America constantly worrying about "Karen" calling the police on me for looking suspicious, with white folks looking at me like "why are you here?" and with white men in pickup trucks causing me much concern etc. 

Are my fears unfounded? 

NAH!!!

Sandra Bland

George Floyd

Trayvon Martin

Ahmaud Arbery

Breonna Taylor

Michael Brown.......

Just to name a few! 

 

Where Do We Go From Here???

I am sitting in a restaurant in DC where we are having a panel discussion on the recent massacre at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church (AME) in Charleston, SC, and I am thinking, listening, and writing!

Race, racism, and our country has been on my mind a lot....

From seeing a man running from a cop and being shot in the back, seeing a cop throw a young girl to the ground and putting both of his knees in her back, reading about riots in both Missouri and Baltimore, and finally hearing the details of a man going into a church, sitting for an hour, and then killing nine of the African Americans in the church out of hate; I am asking myself Where Do We Go From Here!

My people, I have analyzed, criticized, read, cried, and have been afraid.

Yes, a free African American in American has been afraid...

I live in a very diverse neighborhood, and I normally never feel afraid, as a matter of fact, I actually feel quite safe. However, last Friday, I got dressed to go for a bike ride, and for a minute I felt fear. Yep, FEAR. I began to wonder if someone would run me over, because I am Black. Yea, I thought this and so much more. BUT, I put on my Black Girls Bike DC jersey, and boldly went out my front door to do what I love. I decided that if someone was going to kill me because of my color, I was not going to hide but mark myself as Black; I will not hide my race to be safe ever! 

I am wondering Where Do We, Black people and this country, Go From Here?

I still believe in love, and when I see angry post on FB by Black people and White People, it scares me, because it seems to directed towards entire groups of people, and that same angry may be causing cops to mistreat Black people and may have caused a young man to go into that church and brutally kill nine people who were praying to God.

Yes, I have gone from sad to angry to confused and back to sad, and God keeps reminding me that all White people are not bad!

After all of the hate, anger, and hurt that is going on in this country today, I have been deliberately trying to not allow myself to put everybody in the same box: Black People or White People!

People are people and the history of this country is not all good, and I want to believe that all of the things that are happening in this country are happening to expose the racism that has been simmering in our country since we were forced here many years ago. With exposure, hopefully, we can deal with this racism that permeates America. 

I know for sure that Knowledge is Power, and we must read, study, be critical thinkers who are not led by the media, get to know each other, and hopefully heal this land, but I am not sure if this land can be healed. 

Everyday I am pondering Where Do I Go From Here?

So, I will continue to inspire children and teach them, through words, to search their own hearts, be true to themselves, learn about other people and cultures, learn to listen to people whom they disagree with, and to go out and be the change that we need to see in the world....

I am going to live my truth and carefully speak my truth and not worry about the people whom I offend when I speak my truth. I will continue to educate myself, so that when I speak, I will speak from a place of knowledge and not emotions, emotions do have their place, and I will continue to attend and participate in public forums to be in communion with people who are continuously doing the work that matters.

Well, the panel discussion is over, and it was very interactive. The audience got a lot of time to express their ideas and ask questions. So, you remember me stating earlier that I do not want to put people in a box? Well, after this discussion, I realize that people can not be put into a box. The people in that room and their ideas and experiences with race and racism and their ideas about how to deal with these issues were as varied as crayons in a huge box.

The atmosphere felt a little hostile at times, and to be honest, my spirit felt quite heavy after that discussion. I felt like people were being attacked and judged, and this was definitely not a meeting to make people feel good at all. However, I am sort of feeling like maybe this is not the time for us to feel good. However, one of the panelist suggested that we meet her at Malcolm X Park, a Black space, on Sunday, to celebrate and have a love festival; however, this definitely contradicted the feelings that she was emitting into the building.

My people, after this forum, I am feeling sad, confused, angry, lost, judged, like I just don’t understand all of this stuff at all, and I am wondering....Where Do We Go From Here?

However, two guys who were at the forum have sat down next to me, and I am feeling this conversation on race that we are having sooooo, I got to go.....

Hopefully, we can figure out Where do We Go From Here!

Until the Next Time......