Forty Books and My Soul....

Statue in Phildelphia that I visited over the Christmas Break
“Freedom"

Since September, I have read twenty-seven books, and the more that I read, the more that I want to read. You really can make reading a habit.

Friday, I did not go to work, and I really wanted to start reading Swing Time by Zadie Smith. It was not available through the public libraries in print nor digital form. So, I drove to the school, because I had seen it in the school’s library, AND, the library was locked! But Y’all, I HAD to start this book. Sooooooo, I asked a custodian to unlock the library, I got Swing Time, and left a note for the librarians....

Since, I have been conscious about always having something to read, it’s like an addiction, and I hope that giving my students' choice in what they read is also causing them to turn reading into a habit and perhaps even an addiction.

One of the books that I have read recently is Despite the Best Intentions: How Racial Inequalities Thrives In Good Schools by Amanda E. Lewis & John B. Diamond. Y’all, I have wanted to pass it out to every single person who works in my school, from the custodian to the Principal. Then I wanted to call CNN, NBC, ABC to beg them to allow me to talk about this book. I desperately want this book in the hands of all of us well-meaning people who could potentially be causing folks' children damage. (If you work in schools, in any capacity, if you have children in schools, read this book.)

Reading this book, has caused me to be even more intentional about equity and access. I make sure that I give out tardies equally. I make sure that if my advanced students ask me to drop their lowest grade, I also do that for my on-grade level students as well, even if they do not ask. I make sure that I don’t skimp on my duties to some students, because their parents will not complain etc. Y’all, I do not want to play a role in racism thriving in good schools, especially when the people who are negatively impacted just happen to look like me.

I have also read The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle AGAIN! Yes, I have read it multiple times, and I have ‘gotten it’ every single time, but this time around it really resonated. Tolle states that all we have is right now... I have been conscious about enjoying every, single moment, intensely.

So, yesterday, a long lost friend called, and she was in town. She asked if I wanted to go shopping with her, and immediately I said NO! I HATE SHOPPING! However, she said that she was only going to one store and that she would pick me up. I reluctantly agreed, thinking of the quality time that we could spend together.

We stayed in this store for about three hours! (Didn’t I say that I hate shopping?) I had to remind myself to stay in the moment, don’t get impatient, and ride this out. I found a chair in the store and sat for a very, long time, focusing on the fact that I was with a friend whom I have not seen since we left high school... Quality Time!

After the shopping trip, I was ready to go home. She wanted to go to dinner, but I really wanted to go home. Once we got to my place, we were talking in the car, and I was enjoying her immensely, which led to her coming in, and I consciously did not focus on my hair that I wanted to wash, but I cooked and we talked and talked and talked...

Quality time is my number one love language and therefore, after she left, my soul was completely satisfied, and I am happy that I was able to be in the moment and not focus on NEXT!

Speaking of love languages, I have also read the The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, both the married folks version and the singles version. The married folks version is GOOD, but the singles version is REALLY GOOD. I would recommend it to people whether they are married or not.

This book reconfirms that we are all connected and that everything is about love. Yep, love! When we love people, we may want to consider trying to figure out their love language or even ask them their love language and provide it and watch the heavens open up. My sister, Tracy, would tell me that if you meet other folks needs, the returns are greater than you could ever image.

Y’all, find out your love language and other folks love languages, and reap the benefits.

I took the love language test, and my number one love language is quality time, and once I read that, a light bulb went off.... I LOVE QUALITY TIME. I love spending time with folks: talking, laughing, and doing some type of activity such as going to brunch, a museum, a play, the movies, cycling etc. This is why my relationship with my dear friend Dr. Semple has lasted soooo long; this man is always ready to give me quality time, whenever I want it on, even at the spur of a moment.

I called him Friday about one hour before I wanted him to meet me to see a movie, and he showed up......  My heart was happy!

I love Quality Freaking Time, My People.

Challenging myself to read forty books between September and June has been more rewarding than I could have ever imagined. I have always loved to read, but my love for reading has intensified to a point that is soooo good for my soul.

What y’all been doing?

I miss you guys dearly.......

What Would You Do?

I know that it could not just be me who know people who comment about everything and everybody....."Why does she have that outfit on?" "Why does she wear her hair like that?" "Why are they dancing like that?" "Why would they put that sign right there?"....blah, blah, blah, blah!!!

Now there are times when we see something or someone, and we can't help but say something. For instance, when Whitney Houston would come out in public looking like something just wasn't right, many of us had something to say:

"Bobby got her on crack." "She looks a hot mess." "She is destroying her gift."......

We are all probably guilty of making comments about people and things...However, when it is habitual ...IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!

In my all time favorite book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle talks about the idea of trying not to judge everything. Like, just eating dinner and not thinking about whether or not it is good, or maybe looking at a person and not judging them at all. This is called just letting everything and everyone BE. I consciously try and practice this, and it makes life so much more enjoyable.

For instance, I was in Wholefoods on Sunday, and there was this older lady with a huge butt. I'm not talking about a big butt, but she had a HUGE butt. Yea, I looked at her butt, but I refused to let myself say one word. I just looked at her butt, looked at it again, and kept on waiting for my omelet to be prepared. Why would I waste my time worrying or talking about that lady's butt when I have lots of things going on in my life that I need to focus on and work on?

Really, take one entire day and try not to judge anything or anybody, just let things and people BE and see how much more peaceful your day will be. 

When I'm talking to someone who seems to have something to say about everybody and everything, in my mind, I am saying things like "Why do you care about the dress that she has on?" or "People can wear their hair anyway that they want to."  Eventually, the negativity dampens my mood, and I am literally ready to cover my ears and run away:

So, there are two questions on my mind when this happens: Why do some people feel the need to make comments about everything and everybody, and what should people do who are subjected to this negativity.....

I have lots of theories as to why people feel the need to judge everything and everybody...They are trying to find something to talk about, they are unhappy with themselves, maybe they were raised in a negative household and are unaware that they do it, and my theories go on and on and on......

However, maybe we should ask people who do this WHY?

My second question is what should people do who are subjected to this. And, I have some theories about this as well....Maybe we could say "Why do you care about that?" or we could smile and not say anything, or maybe we could counter the negativity with something positive. These are the only solutions that I have come up with, and I am not sure if they are solutions.

Normally, I will limit my contact what that person; I won't hang out with him/her much, and I make sure that my conversations with him/her are short and sweet.

Please, help me with this.. What do you do in this situation?